My mind's tellin' me no, but my body - my body's tellin' me yesssssssss!
Okay, so I know R Kelly is talking about bump & grind here, but I'm going to apply it to running anyway.
Carrying on from month two, I was still struggling with my mind and motivation this month. I even got dressed in full running regalia one morning, had charged up my watch and headphones and was ready to go. I'd plotted a little circuitous route and had allotted the time to run and then get ready afterwards. Except I didn't go. I talked myself out of it. My heart started pounding, my breath became short and before I knew it, anxiety had washed over me.
I went home again.
I was starting to get really despondent about whether I would be able to run this marathon I've committed to. Heck, would I even be able to walk it without my anxiety getting in the way? The only thing that would be running was my nerves, away from me.
I went to Berlin with James and this has been a total reset. In 48 hours, we walked 40 miles around the streets, bedecked in Timberland boots and sloth picture socks. My big toenail has since dropped off, but it really did make me think that, actually, with cushioned trainers and proper socks, I probably could run 26.2 miles after all.
And so I'm back to it. I've been out for a few runs now and let me tell you, it was exhilarating. Hard work, yes. But I felt free.
I'm raring to go with the rest of the training now.